My husband, the modern man, wouldn't dream of doing anything the old-fashioned, cheap way. I, on the other hand, hold out until all else fails before I spend a dime. It's amazing that we ever agree on anything. Do we? Yes. I save money and he spends it. I think that means we complement each other.

A few weeks ago I took a shovel and dug a thistle, root and all, out of the lawn after it attacked my bare foot. Mr. Modern came unglued. "Don't dig a hole in the lawn!" He drove to town, spent eighty dollars on weed killer, drove home, mixed it up, and went over and sprayed a thistle. After about a week, the weed and surrounding vegetation shriveled up and died. Then I took my shovel and dug up the dead weed, root and all, and threw it into the fire barrel. Enough said.

In the morning paper, I always read the obituaries first. If my name isn't there, I go to work. If I ever see me name. I'll lie back down. I also check for my friend, Linda. Then i call her and tell her to go to work. One morning she moaned, "Are you sure? Please check again. I can't feel this bad and still be alive."