appledapple.com appledapple.com
   Home >> About Us >> Privacy of Info >> Terms & Conditions >> Add Your Link >> Add Your Article
Search:   
Free links exchange
 

Academics & Learning

Eating & Drinking

Travel & Accommodation

Internet & Computers

Careers & Employment

Home & Garden

Entertainment

Business & Commerce

Vehicles & Automotive

Science & Research

Sports & Adventure

Teens & Children

Politics & Government

Fashion & Lifestyle

Art & Creative

Fitness & Health

Medicine & Treatment

Online & Board Games

Online Shopping

Society & Issues

Issues & News

Property & Agents

Investment & Finance

Self Healing

 

Home –› Society & Issues –› Humor & Fun
 

How a Head Cold Got Me Married -- Short Version

 

Author: Karen Peralta

Now that Im settled, I must reflect on my past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many times Ive misled myself into a mans loving arms, and how much I loved every minute of it?

Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trapwell, I could, but my second husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what Im sitting on.

I loved my first husband, a wonderfully funny Jew whose parents had fled the Holocaust as kids. After a dozen roller-coaster relationships before my first real commitment, he was the only man I ever truly loved (Remigio, dont look over my shoulder!)

Anyway, several years and sanity-defying relationships later, I landed in a seat in front of Him 2 in a Certified Nurse Aide class, next to a perking coffee pot.

My first husband thought he lucked out marrying his attendant. Gary was dying. I fell in love with his stubborn courage. He was the first person who ever needed me. After he died, I had a tragically brief affair. If I write about everything that happened, itll make an excellent trashy novel.

But Remigio stopped my new single life cold by kicking the back of my chairHARD! He distracted me from talking to a middle-aged black lady, catching me in the middle of sniffling at her. I had a head cold.

I had been taking it out on Grace, who was overweight, casting her sidelong glances and sniffing loudly, while considering fetching her a cup of coffee. The pot was brewing close to me. It wouldve been hard for her to squeeze between the plastic seats. I began getting her coffee.

Sometimes I added creamer. I stirred it with the plastic stir sticks. She would ask me to add a sugar packet, please. But our relationship was rudely interrupted by the entrance of Remigios foot through the back of my plastic chair.

Turning around after the kick-off, I faced a flatly Philippino cold stare. The face, however, reminded me of a Middle-Eastern teacher Id noticed at Ohio University, back in the 1970s.

I gulped, So howre you doing? My Mom told me to be friendly to handsome strangers. And then Remigio smiled back. We got married, and near Christmas day three years later we were blessed by our Princess Angela, nut-brown as her Daddy and sporting my chipmunk cheekbones.

I guess Id suggest more single ladies try sniffling at people to see whose attention they attract. If so, it helps if you fetch cups of coffee. It soothes peoples tired, ruffled feathers.

Be sure and add cream and sugar.

Author Bio:

Karen Peralta

RAINBOW WRITING, INC. -- featuring Karen Peralta, copy editor, ghost writer and book author -- EXPERT FREE DOWNLOAD COMPUTER FIXER PROGRAM! We also offer professional freelance and contracted writing, editing, copy editing and writing, rewriting, ghost writing, graphics design and CAD, Internet marketing, publishing assistance, search engine optimization, xml code authoring, Google Sitemaps, professional free services and supercheap dedicated web hosting and website development services.

You can also reach this article by using: funny news, funny news stories, funny news articles, funny news headlines, current funny news
 
 
 

Related Articles

 
Let's Go Cruisin'
 
Coffee Tips (and the Elimination Thereof)
 
Good News for Goofballs
 
Expert of Experts: Things HE Didn't Tell Neale About Enlightenment
 
Destruction of Urinal Cakes on the Rise
 
Hidden Dangers of Airplane Travel, Including Sticky Buns
 
Humanitarian Relief
 
Decoration Day Boom!
 
How a Head Cold Got Me Married -- Short Version
 
The Story of St Patrick
 
 
 
Home >> Privacy of Info >> Terms & Conditions  
© 2006-2008 www.appledapple.com All Rights Reserved Worldwide.