How often do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you say, yes because youre afraid youll disappoint the other person? Do you feel guilty if you turn someone down? Are you concerned with what theyll think of you?

We waste so much of our precious time and energy trying to please other people. If you have trouble saying no youre in good company. As women, our concern for others is central to the way we make decisions. While men make choices based on principles, women are much more concerned with the impact their decision will have on the people involved, consequently were reluctant to say no.

Frequently we feel that when we say no were not rejecting a request, but were rejecting the other person. And since we certainly don't want to reject someone we love, care about or respect we resist saying no. Whats more, if we see "no" as a rejection, chances are we ourselves hate to be told No. Consequently, we also hesitate because we don't want anyone to say no to us (not that this ever works).

To most people, unless they've learned otherwise, "no" conjures up thoughts of selfishness, weakness, anger, rejection, failure, stubbornness to name but a few. It's not surprising some of us have trouble with this little word. In fact most of us act as if no is a four letter word. May I remind you, it isnt.

Remember you have every right to say "no" to something you don't wish to do. The truth is learning to say "no" is an acquired skill. However, like learning how to swim, you get better with practice. Using this powerful two-letter word doesn't mean youll never do a favor for a friend again or accept another invitation about which you're somewhat ambivalent. However, when you make a decision to go against your feelings, it will be your adult decision, not the decision of your guilt demons. Moreover, learning to say "no" can dramatically increase your time and help you to feel better about yourself and less resentful of others. Heres how one woman learned to use this powerful word.

If were going to create a life we love we have to become more protective of our time. We have to be willing to say no to certain things in order to make room to say yes to others. Saying no is a way of caring for and honoring your authentic self. Its a way to keep in touch with whats most essential in your life.