Most of us fear change, because - as weve all experienced - most change seems to be imposed upon us, originating outside of ourselves. The only thing that each of us can really change is OURSELVES. A rule to remember, then, is: The only thing you can change is YOU. Therefore, unless you change...NOTHING CHANGES. But once youve changed yourself, your perception of the world has, by definition, changed...and, as a direct result, EVERYTHING CHANGES...at least as far as youre concerned. In other words, when you see things differently, things are different...AND THE DOOR TO CHANGING YOUR ATTITUDE AND BELIEF SYSTEMS OPENS. Here, then, is the vital question. WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE CHANGES IN YOURSELF' Every ounce of effort youve got to give thats what itll take. Thats the real answer. You need to put out whatever it takes, accomplish whatever change is needed to meet the challenges of personal, social, employment and career development these days. As my friend Ken OBrien used to say, You dont necessarily get what you want or what you desire. You just get what you get -- and that depends on what you do and who you are! Its true that actions are up to you, but events in the world arent under your control. Youre constantly faced with having to respond to the world as it changes, which means that you often have to change rather quickly or suffer some kind of loss. So lets take a look at change...another rather heavy subject. Many centuries ago it was noted that change is something of a constant. Today things are different. No, change hasnt stopped. Quite the opposite. Its happening faster than ever.And not only is change occurring more rapidly these days, but also the degree of change is increasingeven in this shortened time frame. Change, it seems, is a function of technology, which brings us new challenges along with new knowledge. Back in the early 17th century, Francis Bacon wrote this famous line: Knowledge is power. At that time, the total store of the worlds knowledge was rather meager, and only a few people possessed it...clerics, academics, a few military men. Today, knowledge is doubling about every four years, and, thanks to mass media, computers and other communications devices, many people possess the knowledge. Today, the power comes from appropriate application of knowledge. Of all the skills you could learn in your life, the knowledge of WHAT WORKS in a GIVEN SITUATION is probably the most valuable. Here, though, is the rub. The more we know, the less we know how to apply the knowledge we have. Far from the old logic that says that the more we know about the situation the better well be able to handle it, todays knowledge bank is so extensive and requires so much sifting and sorting, that we experience uncertainty more now than ever before. So lets take a few minutes to look at CHANGE as KNOWLEDGE -- or SKILL. You know, making changes in your life isnt easy. And often its not a matter of choice; its a matter of urgent necessity, even to the extent of being life-preserving. Does a person change personal habits after a severe heart attack? If life is the goal, then change is the order of the day! There are five stages to the change process. 1. The first is CRISIS. The wake up call comes, and weve got to change. The minute we make this decision weve completed the first stage. 2. Then comes the HARD WORK. Most of it is mental. What will the nature of this change be? What form will it take? What is the objective, the goal? What must be done - a step at a time - to get from where I am to where I believe I need to be? Most people really enjoy this stage, because theres a sense of control in these exercises. The danger, of course, is that the planning descends into pure fantasy, or that a sense of being overwhelmed sets in because of all that must be decided and done. Its a tough time, but necessary to the process. 3. Once the thinking part is over, the TOUGH DECISION moment comes...the instant in which you commit to DO IT. You havent even made the first move, but a feeling of relief sets in. Believe me, this is a difficult moment, but when it occurs, take careful note of it. How do you feel? Whom do you tell? (Its a good idea to tell some trusted friends about your decision; this reinforces your commitment to actually DOING IT.) 4. The fourth stage, which almost invariably occurs -- but sometimes doesnt -- is THE MOMENT OR MOMENTS OF UNEXPECTED PAIN. These are times when things dont go as youve planned. Theyre the frustrating moments when you want to give it all up. When this happens, remember the old clich, Dont quit five minutes before the miracle occurs. Or tell yourself, Theres got to be a breakdown before theres a breakthrough! These reminders will help you hang in there and keep on moving forward. 5. Finally, theres THE MOMENT IN WHICH YOU REALIZE THAT THE CHANGE HAS ACTUALLY OCCURRED! Payoffs are arriving! This is the moment of joy and the instant of integration. Enjoy it. It may be the most satisfying reward youll get -- the knowledge that youve succeeded in changing! One thing you may realize in that moment is that more has changed than just events and outcomes. You may realize that YOU have changed, in a very fundamental way. Congratulations in advance. |
