I read recently that during a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly, there is a period of time when inside the cocoon, there is, simply, "a sticky yellow mess." In her landmark book, Composing a Life, Mary Catherine Bateson looks at the lives of several extraordinary people. In tracing their personal and professional transitions, she documents how their changes only "made sense" to them in retrospect, years later. At the time, their actions and decisions felt to them like they were stepping out into the unknown, into murky and unfamiliar waters. The process of creating a new chapter in your life can be messy and unsettling. It may not be a linear process. You probably are not simply choosing a destination and then charting a course, as you might have at another time in your life. This may be a different kind of journey, one that requires you to learn new ways of navigating, deeper levels of self-trust, and higher standards of authentic expression. It also holds the possibility for surprise, for unexpected treasure, for magic. I know one person whose current transition, a midlife journey, began with yearnings to be alone, which puzzled her, as she had always been highly social and an activist. Spending time alone seemed strange and suspect to her, yet she was undeniably drawn in that direction. When she trusted herself and allowed herself to spend time in solitude on a regular basis, she discovered the joys and deep gifts of silence, stillness, and contemplation. This practice nourished her creativity and inspired a series of writing projects that she is very excited about. Now, it "makes sense" to her that she would be writing at this stage in her life. But the actual impulse, the thing that attracted her, was solitude, which "made no sense" to her at all. Coaching tips: 1. Trust yourself to go toward what truly calls to you. Take a step in that direction. Look around. In this new landscape, you may see things that were not visible to you before you took this step. Listen for feedback, internal and external. The feedback holds clues to your next step. 2. Enjoy the adventure! 3. Read Composing a Life, by Mary Catherine Bateson. Copyright 2003, Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved. |
