One of the first things that I work on with people having trouble with communication is to look at what and how they are communicating with themselves. It is very difficult to connect and communicate with others, if you are unable to connect and communicate with yourself. One area that stops people are ANTS. These are automatic negative thinking. These can be so strong that they literately stop people in their tracks from succeeding. Daniel G. Amen M.D. talks about them in his book, "Change Your Brain Change Your Life". He explains about the different types of ANTS and how they can literately hurt your whole body system. These negative thoughts actually affect your deep limbic system in your brain. When your deep limbic system is overactive it can lead into anxiety, depression, anger, impulsiveness and obsessiveness. This inturn can affect your thoughts and communication with yourself even further, creating a downward spiral. Two of the deadly ANT's are, "mind reading" & "fortune-telling". We guess at what the others persons actions must be and act or re-act on that assumption. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is amazing how many people will have a conversation with themselves that can go something like: "Jane didn't come and talk to me today. She must be made at me. What did I do? Maybe she is avoiding me. Maybe, she wants to promote Sally or Ted before me. Why would she do that. I work hard and deserve the promotion. I'll show her, she can't do that to me and get away with it." However, the truth is, we don't know what is happening with Jane. She might not be feeling well. Maybe she is concerned about a family member or friend. It could be that Jane has a report on her mind. We just don't know, which is why it is important not to guess and to clarify with the person before assuming. Considered one of the most deadly of the ANT's is blaming. When we blame, we are filling our heads and bodies with a poison that can destroy your health and keep you living as a victim instead of enjoying a life you desire or deserve. The only way to take control and command of your life is to be full responsible for the events around you. That way you never have to be a puppet on a string to anyone. This is why I teach each of these areas, to help you move forward into a more creative and prosperous way of thinking. Dr Daniel Amen nicely summaries the ANT's 1. Always / never
2. Focusing on the negative
3. Fortune-telling
4. Mind reading
5. Thinking with your feelings
6. Guilt beating
7. Labeling
8. Personalizing
9. Blaming (considered one of the most dangerous ANTS-that can come back to bite you over and over) Doug Bench, who teaches the neuroscience for the brain, has several tools to help people change their thinking including one called, "Stomping the ANT's" in your head, because he realizes the importance of removing them. More and more this is being taught, because of the consequences that come from ANT's. and how many people's lives they destroy. Take the time, to stomp, kill and remove those pesky ants from your life now. I wish you all the best in your endeavours. |
