I went out to dinner with an old acquaintance of mine recently and was reminded of why I dont go out with her very often. She treats people like dirt. When the server came to take our order, she was incredibly loud and rude. She knows I dont like that behavior. I was curious to hear the reason she asked me to dinner.

(Note: I would never say anything behind someones back that I wouldnt say to her face. She knows how I feel about her behavior.)

She invited me so we could talk about her rude behavior. She said she couldnt help herself when she was around people she felt were below her. I was stunned by this comment. The final stunning blow was when she said this, Cant you teach me to be more like you?

What'

Once I got my bearings and grounded myself, I asked her what she meant by that. To me, its easy to be nice to people. I like being nice to people and I like people who are nice to me. Thats what makes the world go round.

She said that she has watched me for years and noticed that Im like the Pied Piper. People naturally like me and want to follow me. They want to get involved in what Im doing. I easily attract the right people at the right times.

She felt as though she has been on a downward spiral most of her life. Its hard for her to attract people to work with her. What was her problem?

Well, where should I start?

Seriously, its easier to see someone elses faults than it is your own. Nobody is perfect, especially not me.

First, I told her to stop comparing herself to other people, regardless of who it is. Its good to have role models or mentors, but its not good to compare yourself to anyone. That will only set you back.

Then I told her to stop seeing herself as above anyone else. There is no such hierarchy it only exists in her mind. We all have different experiences and different lives. Its not fair to anyone to see one person as better than any other.

Finally, she needed to start being nice to everyone, no matter who they are. Being nice attracts many more opportunities than being rude.

Thats it? she asked.

Thats it, I said.

But I was thinking, Youve got a long road ahead of you, my dear.

Hopefully, my friend will follow that advice so she can attract good people to work with her. There are so many people who do not understand that you have to give what you want to get. If you want good people to work with you, then you have to be a good person. Nobody wants to work with a loud, rude snob. Unfortunately, we run into people like that all too often.

If you see yourself in this story (as the rude snob), please consider this information. Its so much easier to work with someone who gets the fact that you get what you give. Otherwise, youll spend a lifetime trying to figure out why nobody wants to be around you.